From the "You can't spell 'Wiccan' without 'Win'" Files

O, God and Goddess, you have picked one man -- one very special man -- to give voice to your people in the Earth's time of need.
That man's name is Elwood "Bunky" Bartlett.
Bartlett has come to save us all by teaching Wicca and Reiki classes at his local New Age bookstore in Nottingham, MD.
And to win the lottery.
He plans to invest in that bookstore, which is called "Mystickal Voyage," in case y'all were wondering.
I attribute Bunky's success to the following factors:
1.) He seems like a decent person.
2.) Nice things don't often happen to good people, so statistically speaking, we were due,
and
3.) The Powers That Be wanted to remind all of us that, yes, there are Wiccans in the South (perhaps they wield their athames with a side of Miracle Whip), and THEY VOTE.
Give 'em hell, Bunky Boy!

(Photo by Gail Burton/AP - Thank you, Gail)